is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
