State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
