How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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