No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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