Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
