I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize