We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
