i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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