i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She even gives head with a lisp.
She bit a glass in half.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
