Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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