I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
