all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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