Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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