whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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