Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
