Cold hands, warm shart.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
