I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My cat gives me a boner
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
