A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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