Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
