Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
