In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
