I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
