The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
