I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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