I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
