what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize