he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
