I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize