Don't you send me to vm
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
