Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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