just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
