Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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