she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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