so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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