some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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