I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
