just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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