Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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