I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
