PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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