A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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