sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
