3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
