Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
