I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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