I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
