So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
