What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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