you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
