The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What a dumb baby whore.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize