Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
