if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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