Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
