"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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