Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
