Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
