There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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